If you're reading this two days after your significant other just flew across country (or sea) this is probably not going to help you now.
That is when I get most of my messages asking what the recipe is to not feel sad. And my answer is always: Patience. Patience my friend.
Of course it's normal to feel sad the minute your best friend who you spend every day with, gets on a plane and leaves you on your lonesome. So just go ahead and embrace the sadness for as long as you need- but don't get stuck there! Make a conscious decision to look ahead at the silver lining and start planning your days ahead. Life is a thing. It's still going on. Hop on board and get this ball rolling!
What do I know?
Well. I've been in long distance relationships at several different stages of my life. The first including my boyfriend in high school who lived in LA while I was in Hawaii from end of sophomore year until I graduated high school and moved back to LA. Then I was with someone who went off to the Navy, but he came back. Then I was with someone who was going back and forth to New York before he moved there for good. Then I met someone visiting from Switzerland. So, yeah. I guess I'm prone to distant men. LOL.
So here's what works for me.
1. Dedicate an entire day to watching romantic comedies and crying.
2. Dedicate the rest of my days to something else.
"Something else" includes calling my girlfriends. I really love and cherish my girl time. We can laugh and talk about all the things boyfriends don't care about. Playing dress up and hitting the town always helps you remember (you still got it).
Which brings me to my next point. Pampering yourself.
Get back to doing all those things you've been putting off for a while. Face masks. Pedicures. Waxing. Green juices. Swimming in the ocean. Getting cozy with a book by the fire. Working out. Shopping. Whatever makes you feel good.
Another thing I love to do in this time alone is unleashing my creativity. I feel I am much more creative when I am alone. Things like writing, painting, cooking new recipes, doing my make up a new way, new hairstyles. Anything that I feel like doing, I do it.
That's what this is about. You want to keep yourself busy! This not only makes you feel good, but it also makes you extremely attractive. If you don't, you end up in this lazy cycle of not feeling good and always wondering what your partner is doing. Where they are. Who they're talking to. Texting and talking on the phone all day. That's not gonna help. That's going to make you insecure, and miss them more, and create defence mechanisms by getting angry so you can miss them less, and start fights, etc. Just don't go there. Trust me.
Distance is a beautiful thing for relationships. Use it as a tool and don't take it for granted. Appreciate your time alone and be grateful for the fact that you have someone to miss and look forward to. Make it a goal to be refreshed when you see them again. This is your chance to start over and let go of old habits that weren't working in the past. We all have work to do so none of us "don't need space". It's not easy to initially take the step away from someone but it does get easier and more enjoyable every day. Until it doesn't anymore. And by then, I hope you are able to reunite.
Some things to keep the bond tight;
Do keep in touch. You don't need to talk alll day, but a morning or nightly check in is always nice to stay connected.
Send pics. (I don't mean nudes...only) :) but normal pics too! Not the ones you're gonna post anyway on instagram. Don't forget to keep your relationship special.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Telling someone you miss them is never a bad thing! Everyone likes being missed. If you're having a hard time, you don't need to go through it alone. Talk to your partner and be vocal about your feelings.
Skype! I'm personally not a big skyper or facetimer but I know if you're in a looong long distance, then that can a real life saver.
And that's it for now friends. Wishing you love and success in all your relationships. As always, if you need someone to talk to more on this subject, just send me a message on my contact page and I'll get back to you!